Weird how I've managed to convince enough people into believing I don't actually have a birthday. I guess some people think its a religious thing, although I'm not a member of the Iglesia Ni Kristo which is the only religion I know that doesn't celebrate anything. (I could be wrong, of course, so don't take my word for it.)
As I type these words I'm sitting in one corner of my aunt's living room, trying to block out the noise my relatives are making--a crying baby, people debating exactly why the guy on the video they're watching punched the other guy in the face, etcetera, etcetera. I can hear the pots and pans clanging in the distance: my cousin is in charge of washing the dishes tonight. The neighbors across from us seem to think that since its a Saturday night, its all right for him to play techno music in the loudest volume he can manage. And yet, there's nowhere else I'd rather be tonight.
I don't know exactly why, but to me, birthdays and major holidays like Christmas and New Year's have to be celebrated here in Cavite. There's just something about being here that helps me think through things more clearly, decide on stuff, things like that. Now that I look back, it was here that I finally came to the conclusion that I had to leave my former job. It was here where I decided to submit an application to the company for which I now work.
Maybe its because when I'm here, I'm just me. Betsy. I'm not the head of the youth department, not a singer in church, not an employee, not even the strange girl who never seems to comb her hair. When I'm here, I don't have to know everything that's going on in my little world. I don't have to be clever or particularly funny. I can sit in a corner and not mutter a single word all day, and nobody is going to accuse me of being in a bad mood or being difficult. Nobody criticizes the fact that I don't wear makeup to work, or that I never wear a short skirt without stockings or leggings, or that I prefer sneakers to high heels. Here we make jokes, sometimes about each others' eccentricities or sizes or even word choices, but its always understood that these things are accepted, no matter what.
I thank God for this blessing. I know that not everyone can claim to have somewhere like this, which is why I wish it for my friends. Everyone deserves to have a place like here.
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